Detachable Friends

For the most part this has been a decent year. As long as you don’t count the fact that I have a newfound ability to easily to detach myself from friendships that have lasted for several years. Starting in February up until now I’ve ended two, and I’m well on my way to a third. If you consider that then it’s been a pretty shitty year. So let’s not consider that.

My friends are detachable. They don’t know this, but they are. For me to see people like this is quite a breakthrough since I used to be that guy who wanted to hold on to relationships so tightly that they would slip through my fingers from the pressure. But recently I’ve discovered that letting go during repeated incidents of betrayal, distrust, and/or seriously poor judgement can save me a whole Hell of a lot of heartache and pain. He said she said? No, thanks. Choosing sides of an argument before hearing both sides? Nah, I’ll pass. Yeah, it’s best to just let go.

Wouldn’t that be great if we could just break off friends like a train can detach the cars that it’s dragging behind it? Think about it. When a train is dragging a lot of cars behind it it becomes a slow-moving vehicle that requires a lot of energy to build up speed. And when it finally gets up to speed it takes a lot of energy to slow down or change directions as well. This all requires a coordinated effort from the lead locomotive, possibly requiring more than just one, resulting in a giant thing that is slow to move and hard to slow down. It’s inefficient really.

Now imagine a locomotive on its own. That sucker should be able to get around pretty quickly by itself, and if need be has the ability to pick up extra cars in various new and interesting places. Not only that, but it has the ability to drop off said cars should it find that it’s being slowed down too much. Just break those suckers off and so that it can continue on its merry way. And if it wants to change direction it doesn’t have to slow down much at all when it doesn’t have the needs of the dead weight that it’s carrying behind it. The ability to move around freely (with the exception that it’s on a track) becomes very easy.

Yep, I want my life to be like a train. Pick up people throughout my life and drop them when I’m bored with them or they get bored with me. Don’t create any long-lasting relationships, just simple and uncomplicated connections that can be broken off whenever you feel necessary. How wonderful would that be? Think of all the drama that could be avoided.


6 thoughts on “Detachable Friends

  1. bart says:

    I dub thee Mersault and will henceforth call you “the Stranger”. Will you be at Comiccon on Thursday?

  2. bart says:

    Hey Mersault,

    Are you bummed at all that you won’t have as much time there this year or are you as burned out on the whole thing as I am?

    I’ve been informed by the ball&chain that I only get to stay a few hours on Thursday morning because she has other plans for me.

    I also just found out that Danny Elfman is going to be doing a panel from 10:30-11:30 on Thursday morning, but I’ve got to wait in the insanely long line to get in the convention center this time, so I probably won’t make it.

  3. bart says:

    Hey Mersault, how much time did you spend at the con?

    I got about 5 hours on Thursday and didn’t have time to see any panels or even all of the stuff in the exhibit hall. I still managed to drop a couple of hundred bucks on assorted sketchbooks and comics and take a few photos (not nearly as many as I’ve taken in years past).

    So, how you doin’?

  4. May says:

    This post made me think.

    I am someone who allows everyone, especially close friends and family, have chance after chance after chance n the word could go on…in fact I normally try to discover what I’ve done wrong in the relationship when deep down I know…it’s not me.

    This is making me think n hopefully that’s the path to change.

  5. error404 says:

    I wrote this during a particularly troubling time when my best friend took sides in an argument without hearing the “other side” of things. That compounded with an incident with another person (a woman, of course) that sent my head and heart in to a tailspin was too much for me to process. Even now I’m really feeling the loss of one of those friendships and the lessening of the other. I walked away avoid being walked on and in return I still ended up hurting. I’m still not sure that I made the right decision in either situation.

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